The blog post about that time I spent the week in the hospital and they took out part of my intestines

If we’re friends on Facebook, you’ve likely already pieced most of this together. If not…

Last Friday night, I was slammed with stomach problems like I’d never experienced before, and by the time the #snowtober storm started on Saturday morning, I was on my way to the emergency room. First ever ambulance ride.

A day later, a colonoscopy turned up, well, some weird stuff in my large intestine, and a day after that I was in surgery.

I’m happy to say that the report on the chunk of intestines they cut out of me (and hey, go ahead and take my appendix while you’re there) showed no sign of cancer, or Crohn’s disease, or another easily identifiable chronic illness.

So they’re sending my guts up to Johns Hopkins to get a second opinion from a specialist, and we’ll see if I just had a fluke infection of some sort, or if I’ve gone off and reinvigorated research on some rare disease.

Either way, I’ll be healed up from the surgery and back in action shortly.

As far as how you can help, there’s no clear “gastrointestinal mysteries foundation” to throw money at, but if you’d think about donating blood sometime soon, I’d appreciate it, since I’m three units deep into IOUs at the moment.

Oh, and bros? Get that colonoscopy.

Wanted: The Unfollowemator

As a Twitter user, I want a way to automatically unfollow users who mention specific terms with a certain sentiment, so that I can easily filter out people with which you just can’t argue.

Acceptance Criteria:

  1. This tool should use the latest version of OAuth to allow the user to connect their Twitter account to the application.
  2. This tool should allow the user to enter a keyword or keywords into a text field, then choose an emotional state (probably limited to positive/negative in the first iteration) to filter on.
    • For example, a user might search for positive mentions of “McRib”
  3. The tool should display a few example tweets, and a paginated list of users that will be unfollowed.
  4. The list of users to be unfollowed should include checkboxes, allowing the user to uncheck any box before confirming their unfollows.
  5. After confirming, the user should be presented with an option to automatically unfollow all users who match this query in the future.

35

I accidentally filled out a marketing survey this morning and realized I had slipped into a new demographic.

Ouch.

Older.

Is Dan Sinker’s book making me angry?

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Well, no, of course not.

In fact, the Epic Quest makes me happy every time I pick it up. I’ve caught myself pages deep, on the couch with my four-year-old who is impatiently reminding me that she has a book of her own in mind, and hey, why is there a duck on your book, and then I snap out of it and Quaxelrod heads back to the end table, where he sits perched atop an unfinished Clay Shirky tome that is infinitely more relevant to my day job.

Anyway, the funny thing is, I don’t curse on Twitter. Or if I used to, I don’t now. I keep it clean. Maybe an “effing” from time to time, which is a word I never speak away from a keyboard. Ever.

But reading in my imagination’s flavor of @mayoremanuel‘s voice has led me into the habit of narrating mundane things like my honestly-not-bad-lately commute in a similar, profane fashion.

And now I’m trying to decide if it’s therapeutic or sociopathic.

But I’m not trying that hard.